Don't allow abandonment issues you may have, to stop you from falling in love.
Abandonment issues, you say. Well I am the poster child.
My father gone at conception, something that once hurt me and now I laugh at it.
Men don’t realize the affects they have on children they leave behind. Well that is a whole different story.
Back to love and the need to walk away or just keep trying.
As you probably already know, having abandonment issues means,
1. You don’t trust people.
2. You over think a commitment before it become a possibility.
I grew up most of my life thinking I just wasn’t worth it because if my father could leave me. Well then what man would take the time to love me? Well that theory was wrong.
I found plenty of men to love me, but I never loved them back. Yeah it’s great to have someone love but hey you want to love back. You can’t fake it, which just makes it worse when you walk out.
When I was twenty-seven years old, I decided to get married. Not because I was on love, or he had lots of money. No I got married because was tired of dating and having nothing but empty involvement with people. The marriage lasted 12 years this February, that’s the certificate of marriage. Us however, well we separated six months after we were married. I am happy to report that we did file for a divorce and it will be final very soon.
When my marriage ended, I was lost. Not because I lost my husband. That was the good part of it ending, but I felt like I failed. I took sometime to get to know me and see was it me or them. What was wrong? Why couldn’t I find that person that made me crazy, crazy in love?
I remained single for over a year, no dating, nothing. Then I set my goals on what I wanted and would not settle for less then what I deserved.
I believe in fate and everything happens for a reason. It is up to you to figure out the true reasoning behind it. After being alone for such along time I finally found that man that was perfect for me. When I say perfect, I mean perfect, for me but in a male version. Not saying I am perfect, by this I mean perfect fit for me. For the first time in my life I fell completely in love. Without knowing his name, just on first sight of him.
I had never been in love with a man before so it was very new too me, but I know he was the one. We lasted for two years, the best relationship I ever had. I learned a lot from being with him. More importantly I learned that I was worth it, a true value.
When it ended it was because of my issues with commitment and trust and I decided to let him go because he was ready to move forward and I wasn’t.
I don’t regret letting him go or my time with him. I was truly heart broken by our break up. It took me about three years to get over it, but like everything else you must keep moving I stayed single for a year and then started dating someone else. I was more willing to love someone, but wasn’t ready to commit myself. The new boyfriend just never seemed to go away. I thought it would never end. We had many good times but for every good time there was ten bad times. Yes I do believe I was in love with him, but because in an odd way he gave me some kind of sense of security. For me looking back on that relationship, it felt like I was addicted to him. Oddly enough after eight years, it finally ended for good.
Now I’m forty and never thought being in love in a good healthy relationship was possible.
Life is very odd and we never really understand it, we just go with the flow.
I am now in a relationship with a man that I know I was designed for.
Life was molding me just for him and if I had not lived as I did. Well I would never be right for him. He is truly my soul mate.
It is worth it to not give up on what you want. If ever there was a person who never believed in love, it was me. I know before this year ends, we will be married.
Here’s the thing to do, don’t look for it, just wait and when the time is right you will meet the person that is right for you. Don’t focus on love and relationships so much. Take a breather and enjoy life.