An article on how to deal with being hated or disliked.
As the cliché goes, “we cannot please everybody.” Despite all our hardest efforts, we cannot always get the heart of all the people we work and deal with. There are those who openly criticize us and express his or her distaste against us regardless of what we feel. There are also those who smile in front of us, but roll his or her eyes the second we turn our backs. Whoever of the two types we deal with, it is not a joy or compliment for us to be hated. So how do we cope with being hated? How do we deal with people who hate us? Should we change a part of ourselves?
Do not be overly concerned about it. As much as possible, do not make a huge deal about being hated. Do not show others that you have been severely affected by it. Instead, show them that you are not someone who can be easily influenced by what people say and feel about you. Be gentle with yourself.
Figure out the reason why you are being hated. Reevaluate yourself and face the truth. If you are being disliked because of a certain unpleasant attitude, then it might be time for you to change, or if not, refrain from such unpleasantness. This way, you would become a better person and in the long run, when they see the sincere change in you, they would appreciate you and stop hating you. Do not try to lie or convince yourself that you are always right. Open your mind and do your share in adjusting with the people around you. Change might be hurtful and at time embarrassing, but if it the only way to be at ease with people, then do so.
If you are being hated for a wrong or stupid reason, say a certain group of people hate you out of jealousy because you are smarter or more productive, then ignore it. Such people are not worthy of your energy and attention. You do not have to react to malicious feelings towards you.
Remember that you can’t entirely change yourself and be a different person. If they hate you for being you, that is the worst reason of all. The problem is not anymore you, but them. So continue being you and be the good person that you are.
Be calm and cordial when dealing with your haters. You do not have to be too friendly with them, but do not be mean either. Just show them you are unaffected by it. They would hate you more when you show hurt or weakness.
Have a close friend to talk to. It is a comforting idea to have a good friend to speak to and share your hurt. It helps you deal with the matter a whole lot easier too.
Remember all the people who love you. We are all being loved by our parents, spouse, children, or even pets. They may not like us all the time, but they end up loving us and appreciating us despite all our flaws as a person. Take solace in this idea and eliminate the bad thought and negativity from people who hate you.
Nurture your self with beautiful thoughts or regular hobby. Being hated can bring down your self-esteem. Combat this with affirming thoughts and consolatory messages. Maybe write on you mirror messages like “you are a lovely person,” or “you can do it, great guy” to remind yourself that you are a valuable person worthy of love and happiness. Also, find a hobby and do it regularly. Do something that interest you and which you love to do. It may be shooting baskets, painting, writing a blog, or even running. Having a regular hobby helps you give you more focus on much better things and so you will not dwell anymore on the fact that you are being disliked. You may also meditate daily to flush out the negativity in your life.
Forgive those who hate you, and if possible, try to love them back. This will give you peace of mind and help you improve relationships. It may be hard but it is possible. Love others and eventually, it will come back to you.